C: Character – Coffee

A-Z Me

Character
It is my sincere desire to live life in a way that would produce the best me possible. To be considered by others as a person who possesses good character. I don’t want to be someone who simply says, but someone who completely does. I strive to be someone who is trustworthy and fair, respectful and honest, humble and compassionate. At the end of my days here on earth, I’d love to have been known as someone who cared more for others than for myself; who did more helping, loving and supporting than hurting, judging or ignoring. I expect that a merit filled life will not be measured by my own perceptions, but rather, by the perceptions of those around me. I will have only succeeded if both those I love and those I don’t have felt loved, respected and cared for by me.

Coffee
Coffee consumes a very significant part of my day and I can’t quite imagine my life without it. Am I addicted? Absolutely. I know that practically, coffee isn’t such a great daily beverage choice. Health concerns and the physical effects of being dependent on caffeine are not aspects I am happy about to be sure. And because of this, there have been times when I’ve attempted to give it up all together. But for now, it’s here to stay. It’s one of the biggest highlights of my morning. I get up early, get that hot cup in my hands and snuggle up on my couch for my morning quiet time; a sleeping dog on each side of me. No kid noises. No distractions. No rush and no pressure. It’s just me; me and my thoughts, my books, and my coffee. I can’t imagine starting the day any better way.

B: Boogie Boarding – Braces

A-Z Me

Boogie Boarding
Boogie Boarding has to be one of my happiest childhood memories. It is something my dad taught me how to do. I remember him bodysurfing alongside me, encouraging me to go for the biggest wave! Most often though, it was my mom and my Aunt Susan who would take us kids to the beach. We would stay the entire day and my cousin Todd and I would spend the majority of that time in the water on our beloved boogie boards. I remember mine as the typical 70’s style; orange and brown with some swoopy design on it. I can picture my mom standing on the shore, motioning for us to come out of the water to eat. I remember trying to ignore her for as long as I thought we could get away with and then dragging myself out of the water reluctantly, rushing through a sandwich flavored with salty sand and then racing Todd back to the water, back to *our* waves. It is difficult to put into words exactly how I felt out there, riding wave after wave on that board. I felt on top of the world, separate from everything and everyone, filled to overflowing by the sound of the surf and the feel of the ocean’s power. I was at peace. It was simply majestic. Utter and complete boogie boarding bliss.

Braces
I didn’t get braces put on until just after I turned twenty one, although I needed them much earlier! My teeth were a focal point of my growing up years. For one thing, they were just too darn big for my mouth. And for another, my bottom jaw was far too small and so the result was a rather pronounced overbite. I trained myself to keep my teeth apart when I was younger, thrusting my jaw forward in a vain attempt to hide this as much as possible. I had teeth pulled to make room in my mouth more times than I can remember, including my wisdom teeth when I was older, plus four more after the braces were put on! I’m not even sure how I have any teeth left. The braces were supposed to be on for two years, prepping my mouth for a jaw surgery to correct my overbite. That two years stretched into four years and that surgery was pretty awful and included those same braces being used to wire my mouth shut for a month and my face transforming from The Elephant Man into a new face that was a bit disturbing to see looking back at me in the mirror. My teeth. (shutter)

B: Beth Cadence

A-Z Me

Beth Cadence
My baby girl, born on June 5, 2006. She arrived via a scheduled c-section on that day so we would be sure to avoid her being born on the dreaded 6/6/06. My little Beth was made of smiles and really didn’t cry much in her first year at all. She loves monsters and bugs and the colors green and black. She rescues little black beetles wherever we go, even when it’s not exactly convenient for mom to find an exit leading outside (sigh). She is an introvert and will most often go play off on her own rather than other kids. This doesn’t include her big sissy of course, whom she idolizes and would prefer to never be without. She is silly and loves to laugh; her knock-knock jokes don’t ever go without us all in tears. (Mostly because they ALWAYS end in “Chicken crossed the road … AHAHAHAHAH!!”) My Beth, my baby. My amazing girl. I love you.

A: Anthrax-Arizona

A-Z Me

Arizona
I have lived in Phoenix, Arizona since November 2004. I grew-up in Southern California and making the decision to move out here initially had me in hysterics. I imagined myself living in a desert waste, surrounded by poisonous snakes, spiders and scorpions and needing to stay submerged in a swimming pool all summer long. And of course, the heat is a major part of living here. We basically have only two seasons: summer and winter. It’s either hot or cold, there really isn’t too much in between. Surprisingly we have adjusted very well though. Summer nights and seemingly endless flip-flop weather have captured my heart. I love the wide open spaces and the gigantic sky. Our swimming pool isn’t used anywhere near as often as I thought it would be. We’ve learned that there is an unspoken swimming ‘season’ here during the literal summer months. Even though you could swim in late September (it will still easily be over 100degs), most people are just done with it by then. It still cracks me up that we have to cool our pool down during the highest temp. peaks, and I’ve gotten to where I won’t swim unless the water is nice and warm. Although “summer” does get very tiresome come October, it has been an acceptable trade off for all of the perks I’ve received since moving here. I love the people that I’ve met; that has been by far my favorite part about living here. I love that my particular Phoenix suburb feels somewhat like a small town; its easy to run into friends everywhere you go and I think that there is a ‘3-Degrees of Separation’ effect with the people here. I love being warm all of the time. Monsoon storms are spectacular! I love the absence of traffic. I love the laid back, relaxed atmosphere that seems to permeate everything and everyone. I love that I can make the six hour drive home to California on my own, easily. I love that my girls complain about being cold during the summer months far more often than they have ever complained about being hot. I love it here. I really do. Oh, and I have yet to see a scorpion!

Facts about Phoenix, AZ:

• Phoenix is the United States’ sixth-largest city
• When people refer to Phoenix, they often mean the greater Phoenix area, which includes about 23 cities and towns of the metropolitan area
• Greater Phoenix has a population of almost 2.8 million
• Phoenix’ elevation is 1,117 feet
• Phoenix averages 300 sun-filled days a year
• Phoenix has an average annual rainfall of 7.66 inches
• The average annual high temperature is 85 degrees
• The average summer high temperature is among the hottest of any populated area in the United States and approaches those of cities such as Riyadh and Baghdad
• The temperature reaches or exceeds 100°F (38°C) on an average of 110 days
• On June 26, 1990, the temperature reached an all-time recorded high of 122 °F (50 °C)
• On average, Phoenix has only 5 days per year where the temperature drops to or below freezing
• The all-time lowest recorded temperature in Phoenix was 16 °F (-9 °C) on January 7, 1913

Anthrax, Sound of White Noise
I have to say that out of all the albums I have owned over the years, this one has to win out as one of my top favorite. And not because it’s the best musically, it’s more because it’s a sentimental favorite. Although I, of course, think that it is an amazing album!! I just happen to be very attached, out of comfort, somewhat like being attached to a well worn and loved pair of shoes. Anthrax is a band that I have returned to over and over again since discovering them in my early high school years. They were my favorite metal band then, and remain so today.  “Only”,  “Black Lodge” and “Room for One More” are the best songs in my opinion, but I think it is their best start to finish album.

A: After a While

A-Z Me

After a While

After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and that you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
with every goodbye you learn…

~Veronica A. Shoffstall

My attachment to this poem is incredibly personal. I first read it on the waiting room wall of my therapist’s office sometime in 1997 (i think).  I would read it over and over each time I was there and pray, “Someday.  THAT! Right there, what this poem says. That is my end goal. Someday I’ll make it there. Someday.” And here I am 13 or so years later. I can’t say I’ve quite arrived “there” yet, I still spend a great deal of time back “here”. But I’m far, far closer. I can look back now and see the distance I’ve traveled over the years. A great enough distance that I can no longer clearly make out my starting point. And that feels amazing.

A-Z Me Intro

This is a project I have been slooooowly working on for the last year or so. It is a digital scrapbooking project that I began after taking Cathy Zielske’s online class, “Me: The Abridged Version” at Big Picture Scrapbooking. These ladies are amazing and I have learned so many new ways to appreciate life and its unassuming treasure from their scrapbooking ‘method’. Scrapbooking is so much more than it sounds, and I think it sounds terribly silly. It has taught me to focus in on the positive snippets of life, on the bits that are so easily overlooked in the mad dash struggle to just ‘survive’. This particular project has proved invaluable for me in this last year and I have turned to it over and over again when I find myself at the bottom of a self-pity heap. This is an A-Z look at me:

Subjected to the Subject

Subject: me. I am subject to me; that’s a cold hard fact that is sometimes difficult for me to face. Do I have any choice *but* to be subjected to myself? This song expresses how I feel perfectly. No. I can’t escape me. I can make wild attempts at avoiding those thoughts or feeling or memories that weigh down, but that isn’t really *me* after all. I will instead find a positive place to place my feet, stand up straight and straighten out that space behind my face. I have many parts of me that I am proud to have hanging around, though it has taken quite a long while to really believe so. One of my encouragements is the fact that people who know me today don’t quite realize just how excessively insecure, how terribly self critical or how overwhelmingly inept I really am on the inside. That still amazes me. How I see me is so very different than how I’m seen. I count this as a personal success and it spurs me on past yesterday and into tomorrow. Because today is all I have and me is all I get. And that word ‘all’ is deceptive and misleading. All is the key. I HAVE IT ALL, after all. So let the ME appreciation begin!

The IKEA Infiltration

IKEA is one of those companies that falls into a category all it’s own.  And if you haven’t experienced it for yourself, there really isn’t a way to properly describe it. Love it or hate it, IKEA has infiltrated pop culture and is here to stay. Case in point, my spell check knows that IKEA should be spelled in all caps. I however did not realize that. This is due to the fact that IKEA is actually an acronym. It stands for: Ingvar Kamprad Elmtaryd Agunnaryd. Ingvar Kamprad is the company’s founder (who was 17 at the time!), Elmtaryd is the name of the farm where he grew up, and Agunnaryd is his home parish located in South Sweden. A quick search online yields an excessive amount of information, references and commentary associated with this lifestyle giant.

The names of IKEA products have always made me laugh. Just try pronouncing the name of that table you are searching for to the sales associate sometime. Those employees must have some stories to tell! It turns out that there is an established system for naming IKEA products. There are a few exceptions, but most of the names are (of course) Swedish names.  According to Wikipedia, the system breaks down as so:

Swedish place names: Upholstered furniture, coffee tables, rattan furniture, bookshelves,media storage, doorknobs

Colloquial expressions, Swedish place names: Boxes, wall decoration, pictures and frames, clocks

Norwegian place names: Beds, wardrobes, hall furniture

Finnish place names: Dining tables and chairs

Danish place names: Carpets

Swedish islands: Garden furniture

Scandinavian lakes, rivers and bays: Bathroom articles

Occupations: Bookcases

Men’s names: Chairs, desks

Women’s names: Materials, curtains

Mathematical and geometrical terms: Curtain accessories

Terms from music, chemistry, meterology, measures, weights, seasons, months, days, boats, nautical terms: Lighting

Mammals, birds, adjectives: Children’s items

Grammatical terms: Kitchen items

Flowers, plants, precious stones: Bed linen

Foreign words, spices, herbs, fish, mushrooms, fruits or berries, functional descriptions: Kitchen utensils

And now, through the wonders of the internet, you too can create your own IKEA name! Follow this link to a fun IKEA name generator:

A Fine Feather

Hope

by Emily Dickinson

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune–without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I’ve heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

I adore, adore this poem. It fits me and my outlook perfectly. Although it is far to easy for me to remain focused on the negative side of things, just below that very thin skin of pessimism exists my true Pollyanna nature. I cling to hope above all. I search for the good in all things (and far too often find it where I shouldn’t). I love metaphor and this visual concept is one of my favorite. Bird metaphors and idioms are, as I think of them, uncommonly common. I think that the image of wings and flight fits into the metaphorical category perfectly. I have a storehouse of bird related idioms and sayings stuck in my head and I’m not afraid to overuse them!

It’s a Start

Why does this particular phrase seem to come across in such a negative way? “It’s a start.” Somehow this makes me feel like a kid getting a pat on the head. Can’t you just hear a touch of condescension in that? A start is supposed to be something positive. Something good, fresh, full of hope and energy. Is it because we’ve become so focused on the end result of things? Is an ending more valuable somehow? Finished, accomplished, complete. Do we assume that winning means we’ve won? Can’t we also be winning once we’ve begun? I think so. So today I will force a change in my internal voice inflection when saying this phrase. The /a/ in start will NOT be the star and steal my thunder. I will instead spread the emphasis evenly and add a slight pause between each word. I will ever so subtly increase that final /t/ sound. (Is it possible for /t/ to sound anything but peppy? Think highhat cymbals here.)

It’s … a … start.

Much better.